Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The Vvitch (2015)

-Vvouldst though like the taste of butter,...a pretty dress?  Vvouldst thou like to live deliciously?
-...yes.

Ok, so...vvhen I grow up, I vvanna be this movie!

This movie is not for everyone.  This is not a casual vvatch. It's not a casual listen, either. There's a vvhole bunch of olde English type of speaking goin on.  You know...

"Child, come hither lest ye be thou speaketh thine dost vvouldst not vvherefore into temptation."

Go ahead and read that again. I just vvrote that shit.

This movie blew me away. I rented from redbox and as soon as the movie vvas done, I vvent out and bought it. I had to have it. I vvatched it with the subtitles on and I'm glad I did. You're prolly gonna miss some of vvhat is going on, otherwise.

It's NOT scary. There are no jump scares. There is no overt violence. This isn't a bloodbath. There are no sex scenes. There are no quotable one liners.

Vvhat it is...is dreadful and creepy and dark and disturbing. If you put your cell phone down and let the movie seep into you, you will be dragged into despair along with the characters.

Now...if you looked through the rest of this blog, you know I'm no film elitist. I like cheese. I like jump scares.  I like one liners. I'm very easy to please vvhen it comes to found footage style movies. I like the young tenders...

But this movie is on another level. (I know you're not supposed to start a sentence with a conjunction)

I don't know vvhere I'm going vvith this. I just really loved this movie. I think you vvill too if you let the movie vvork it's black magic. Enjoy!

Vote Black Phillip!!!